Author Topic: it's quiet Carruthers.... too quiet  (Read 218139 times)

Offline Tony and Sandra Smith

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it's quiet Carruthers.... too quiet
« Reply #570 on: January 30, 2008, 04:54:01 PM »
Quote from: George
Seeing as it's quiet how about this:

Q. If you were to spell out numbers (one, two, three etc.), how far would you have to go until you would find the letter "A"?

george g...


? One hundred (A)nd one?

Tony
Tony


With thanks to Ueuecoyotl, the Aztec God of Sex and Irresponsible Merrymaking (I've found my deity!!)

Offline Peter&Dawn

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it's quiet Carruthers.... too quiet
« Reply #571 on: January 30, 2008, 05:55:22 PM »
Quote from: Tony and Sandra Smith
Quote from: George
Seeing as it's quiet how about this:

Q. If you were to spell out numbers (one, two, three etc.), how far would you have to go until you would find the letter "A"?

george g...


? One hundred (A)nd one?

Tony

Probably not the answer you were expecting George    
If you ignore the 'and' it would be one thousand.

Peter&Dawn

Offline Greecemad

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it's quiet Carruthers.... too quiet
« Reply #572 on: January 30, 2008, 09:30:50 PM »
Quote from: Peter&Dawn
Quote from: Tony and Sandra Smith
Quote from: George
Seeing as it's quiet how about this:

Q. If you were to spell out numbers (one, two, three etc.), how far would you have to go until you would find the letter "A"?

george g...


? One hundred (A)nd one?

Tony

Probably not the answer you were expecting George    
If you ignore the 'and' it would be one thousand.

Peter&Dawn

My answer is:

A hundred

Greecemad

Offline John R

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it's quiet Carruthers.... too quiet
« Reply #573 on: January 30, 2008, 09:43:31 PM »
Quote from: George
Seeing as it's quiet how about this:

Q. If you were to spell out numbers (one, two, three etc.), how far would you have to go until you would find the letter "A"?

george g...

Simple - up here in Cumbria you don't go past the first number - Yan

Yan tan tether.......................

That's how we count.

John R

Offline George

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it's quiet Carruthers.... too quiet
« Reply #574 on: January 31, 2008, 08:12:29 AM »
Quote from: Peter&Dawn
Quote from: Tony and Sandra Smith
Quote from: George
Seeing as it's quiet how about this:

Q. If you were to spell out numbers (one, two, three etc.), how far would you have to go until you would find the letter "A"?

george g...


? One hundred (A)nd one?

Tony

Probably not the answer you were expecting George    
If you ignore the 'and' it would be one thousand.

Peter&Dawn
I would have said 101 but it's supposed to be 1000!!  

I'll try and find another one...  

george g...

Offline George

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it's quiet Carruthers.... too quiet
« Reply #575 on: January 31, 2008, 01:29:09 PM »
I've found something else to play with, now don't cheat...

Below are four ( 4 ) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately . OK?

Let's find out just how clever you really are....


First Question:
You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second!

Try not to screw up next time. Now answer the second question, but don't take as much time as you took for the first question, OK ?

Second Question:
If you overtake the last person, then you are...? (scroll down)



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST person?

You're not very good at this, are you?


Third Question:
Very tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head only . Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.
Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000 . Now add 30 . Add another 1000 . Now add 20 . Now add another 1000 . Now add 10 . What is the total?


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Did you get 5000 ?



The correct answer is actually 4100.


If you don't believe it, check it with a calculator! Today is definitely not your day, is it? Maybe you'll get the last question right... Maybe.


Fourth Question:

Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Did you Answer Nunu? NO! Of course it isn't.
Her name is Mary. Read the question again!


Okay, now the bonus round:


A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done.
Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants?


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


He just has to open his mouth and ask...
It's really very simple.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Yes they made me feel stupid too  

george g...



Offline John R

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it's quiet Carruthers.... too quiet
« Reply #576 on: January 31, 2008, 04:18:12 PM »
Quote from: George
I've found something else to play with, now don't cheat...

Below are four ( 4 ) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately . OK?

Let's find out just how clever you really are....


george g...

Well - I cheated and took a long time with each question. And got them ALL wrong  

John R
« Last Edit: January 31, 2008, 04:18:33 PM by John R »

Offline George

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it's quiet Carruthers.... too quiet
« Reply #577 on: January 31, 2008, 04:37:28 PM »
Quote from: John R
Quote from: George
I've found something else to play with, now don't cheat...

Below are four ( 4 ) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately . OK?

Let's find out just how clever you really are....


george g...

Well - I cheated and took a long time with each question. And got them ALL wrong  

John R
Well done John, you get a pat on the back for admitting that  

george g...

Offline Mike from Sussex

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it's quiet Carruthers.... too quiet
« Reply #578 on: January 31, 2008, 04:48:24 PM »
Quote from: George
I've found something else to play with, now don't cheat...

Below are four ( 4 ) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately . OK?

Let's find out just how clever you really are....



Try not to screw up next time. Now answer the second question, but don't take as much time as you took for the first question, OK ?

Second Question:
If you overtake the last person, then you are...? (scroll down)



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST person?


george g...

Not wanting to be picky, but if the race is more than one lap of a track, you could be in any place except last, having lapped the person in last place !!!

Mike

Offline Chas

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it's quiet Carruthers.... too quiet
« Reply #579 on: January 31, 2008, 05:49:26 PM »
OK, I've decided I will be picky ......

Using standard English (not a Celtic variant), the first number with an A is .....






One and twenty (as in "four and twenty blackbirds") {anachronistic in "Modern Britain" but still the norm in most of Northern Europe}.

As for the "four" questions .... the first time I came across them, I only got the first one wrong - I'm a devious, twisted, quick learner
___________________________________________________

Now, off at a slight tangent .................... a bigoted, deeply sexist piece of philosophising:

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.

The frog said to her, 'If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes, The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, 'Thank you, but i failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes, Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!'

The woman said, 'That's okay.' For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned her, 'You do realize that this wish will also
make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to'. The woman replied, 'That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me.' So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, 'That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you.'
The woman said, 'That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine.'
So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered,'I'd like a mild heart attack.'

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them!

ATTENTION: female readers : This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.

Male readers : Please scroll down.
^
^
^
^
^
^
^
^
^
^
^
The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife.

Moral of the story : Women are really dumb but think they're really smart.
Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show.

PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen...now run along and put the kettle on, there's a love. X X X



Now, where did I put my Nomex underwear and asbestos suit?
« Last Edit: January 31, 2008, 05:51:20 PM by Chas »
Chas



Stupidity is its own reward.

Offline Greecemad

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it's quiet Carruthers.... too quiet
« Reply #580 on: January 31, 2008, 09:19:25 PM »
1. At the start of a cricket innings, each of the 10 wickets is taken by a batsman being bowled out by the first ball he faces. Assuming there are no wides or no balls, what number is the batsman who is left 'not out' at the end of the innings?

2. Is cricket played in Greece?
« Last Edit: January 31, 2008, 09:21:07 PM by Greecemad »

Offline John R

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it's quiet Carruthers.... too quiet
« Reply #581 on: January 31, 2008, 09:34:09 PM »
Quote from: Greecemad
2. Is cricket played in Greece?

Corfu is quite famous for its cricket I believe

John R

Offline Graham_and_Karen

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it's quiet Carruthers.... too quiet
« Reply #582 on: January 31, 2008, 10:00:24 PM »
Answer to 1. is No. 8. Initially numbers 1, 3, 4, 5, 6, and 7 are out. Changing ends at the end of the over means that no. 2 is next out, with no. 8 at the other end. No. 9 and 10 are then out, leaving no. 8. to return to the pavillion with a smug look on his face.

Offline George

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it's quiet Carruthers.... too quiet
« Reply #583 on: February 01, 2008, 08:56:11 AM »
Quote from: Chas
Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them!

Hi Chas

Personally, going by past experiences, I would have stopped there, Chas. There are contributors (aka Mrs H) to this site that might, just might bite back...
 
and you live in the same town... whoops!

Nice knowing you...

george g...


Offline Mike from Sussex

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it's quiet Carruthers.... too quiet
« Reply #584 on: February 01, 2008, 09:24:52 AM »
Quote from: Graham_and_Karen
Answer to 1. is No. 8. Initially numbers 1, 3, 4, 5, 6, and 7 are out. Changing ends at the end of the over means that no. 2 is next out, with no. 8 at the other end. No. 9 and 10 are then out, leaving no. 8. to return to the pavillion with a smug look on his face.

Presumably leaving number 11 at the other crease wondering why number 8 retired