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Author Topic: it's quiet Carruthers.... too quiet  (Read 148591 times)

Offline daza

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Re: it's quiet Carruthers.... too quiet
« Reply #750 on: February 25, 2016, 09:58:25 AM »
looks almost as nice today in Plakias as here in sunny Nottingham:)

Offline daza

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Re: it's quiet Carruthers.... too quiet
« Reply #751 on: February 25, 2016, 10:02:13 AM »
Olympic prices are still well expensive from EMA - whats going on (before and after the in/out of the Euro debate)?!!!. Far too expensive for me at the mo'.
 :(

Offline JBMouse

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Re: it's quiet Carruthers.... too quiet
« Reply #752 on: February 25, 2016, 05:13:03 PM »
Hi Daza, just seen your post about Olympic, price depends on time of your trip. We are flying from Gatwick, October 11th. with Olympic using easyjet, and the price now is up as seats are filling on the aeroplane. I don't know what airline Olympic use for EMA. The week earlier is still using Germania, but that is their last flight of the season from Gatwick, all later departures are with easyjet. It does not look good for anyone hoping to go to Plakias in mid - late October. I was lucky and grabbed the deal on Christmas eve from Olympic.
I hope you can find a good deal for Plakias.
Perhaps this post should have gone into the holiday companies section?

Offline Barny

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Re: it's quiet Carruthers.... too quiet
« Reply #753 on: February 25, 2016, 08:18:47 PM »

 A farmer from Skipton sadly lost his wife. He contacted the Yorkshire Post to arrange an obituary. The couple had been happily married for 50 years before she passed away.

 The farmer went to the newspaper office to make the arrangements. When informed of the cost, the man uttered, in true Yorkshire fashion, “ Ow Much? ”

 “Ah want summat simple” he explained, “My Gladys were a gud ‘arted an’ ‘ard-workin’ Yorkshire lass but she wunt av wanted owt swanky.”

 “Perhaps a small poem”, suggested the woman at the desk.
“Nay”, he said, “she wunt av wanted owt la-di-da. Just put, ‘Gladys Braithwaite died’”.

“You need to say when”, he was told by the receptionist.
“Do I? Well, put died 17th March. That'll do”.

“It is usual for the bereaved to add some meaningful phrase about the dearly departed”.

The man considered for a moment. “Well, put in, ‘Sadly missed’. That'll do”, he said.

“You can have another four words”, the woman explained.

“No, no”, he cried, “she wouldn' av wanted me to splash out”.

“The words are included in the standard price”, the woman informed him.
“Ah they? Tha means av paid for 'em?”.
“Yes, indeed sir”.
“Well, if av paid for 'em , am 'avin ‘em”.

The obituary was duly printed as follows:

 Gladys Braithwaite died, 17th March. Sadly missed. Also tractor for sale.
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Offline mickydripping

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Re: it's quiet Carruthers.... too quiet
« Reply #754 on: February 26, 2016, 05:02:17 PM »
This is an unfortunate suggestion that the people of Yorkshire are mean or "tight", obviously untrue, although it is rumoured that copper wire was invented by two Yorkshiremen fighting over a penny!

Offline PhilR

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Re: it's quiet Carruthers.... too quiet
« Reply #755 on: February 26, 2016, 07:35:43 PM »
Was it not a half penny Obadiah?

Offline Noopsy

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Re: it's quiet Carruthers.... too quiet
« Reply #756 on: March 03, 2016, 07:49:53 PM »
This topic seems to have come to life again.

Another Yorkshire man's wife died, and after the funeral, he went along to the monumental stonemason to order a headstone for the grave.  Apart from his wife's name and dates of birth and death, the man instructed the stonemason to carve the inscription

SHE WERE THINE.

When the mason informed the man that the order had been executed, he went along to the grave, and was horrified to see that the mason had carved the words

SHE WERE THIN.

Furious, he went to the mason, and informed him that he had missed out an E.  The mason was most apologetic, and said that he would correct the error as soon as possible.

In due course, the mason informed the man that he had added the E, and the man went to inspect the headstone.  The inscription now read:

E SHE WERE THIN.     
Ελευθερία ή θάνατος

Offline Barny

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Re: it's quiet Carruthers.... too quiet
« Reply #757 on: March 04, 2016, 07:52:52 AM »
 A Barnsley man goes to the vet:

Man : “Can yer stopme cat weein’ all rahnd t’house?”

Vet: ” Is it a Tom?”

Man : ” Nor, it’s in t’basket.”
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Offline Barny

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Re: it's quiet Carruthers.... too quiet
« Reply #758 on: March 04, 2016, 07:54:56 AM »
 A Yorkshire aerobics instructor said to his class “Hands on thighs!” so they class did… None of them could see a thing.
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Offline Tony and Sandra Smith

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Re: it's quiet Carruthers.... too quiet
« Reply #759 on: March 08, 2016, 11:33:38 PM »
Paddy goes into a hardware store, says he needs something to clear some forest on his farm. Shopkeeper tells him that he needs a chainsaw and it will cut down 40 trees per hour.
[/color]Paddy buys the chainsaw and sets off home thinking he'll be finished by lunch. By nightfall he's only just finished and is seething about the lying shopkeeper.
[/color]Next day Paddy goes back to the shop complaining that he was told that the chainsaw would cut down 40 trees in an hour but it's only doing 5 or 6. Paddy wants his money back arguing that there must be something wrong with it.
[/color]The shopkeeper says, "here Paddy, gimme the thing and I'll show you there's nothing wrong with it." Paddy passes it over and the shopkeeper pulls the cord starting the chainsaw.
[/color]Paddy jumps back and screams, "what's that f*cking noise?"
Tony


With thanks to Ueuecoyotl, the Aztec God of Sex and Irresponsible Merrymaking (I've found my deity!!)

Offline Barny

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Re: it's quiet Carruthers.... too quiet
« Reply #760 on: March 12, 2016, 02:00:05 PM »
On a beautiful summer’s day, two English tourists were driving through Wales.

At Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyllllantysiliogogogoch they stopped for lunch and one of the tourists asked the waitress: “Before we order, I wonder if you could settle an argument for us. Can you pronounce where we are, very, very, very slowly?”

The girl leaned over and said: “Burrr… gurrr… King.”
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Offline Barny

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Re: it's quiet Carruthers.... too quiet
« Reply #761 on: March 12, 2016, 02:06:52 PM »
One day, a Welshman came up with an idea that sheep intestines would make great condoms.Some time later, an English man thought it would be an even better idea to take the intestine out of the sheep first.
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Offline Barny

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Re: it's quiet Carruthers.... too quiet
« Reply #762 on: March 13, 2016, 08:04:03 PM »
A police officer knocked on my door earlier and showed me a photo asking if it was my wife. Yes I replied it is. "I'm awfully sorry" he said "but I'm afraid it looks like she's been hit by a train." "I know" I replied "but she's great with the kids"
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Offline Tony and Sandra Smith

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Re: it's quiet Carruthers.... too quiet
« Reply #763 on: March 13, 2016, 09:23:03 PM »

Have you been hit with a rhythm stick?

You could be entitled to compensation with a personal Ian Dury claim.
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Tony


With thanks to Ueuecoyotl, the Aztec God of Sex and Irresponsible Merrymaking (I've found my deity!!)

Offline Tony and Sandra Smith

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Re: it's quiet Carruthers.... too quiet
« Reply #764 on: March 13, 2016, 09:26:36 PM »
Tony


With thanks to Ueuecoyotl, the Aztec God of Sex and Irresponsible Merrymaking (I've found my deity!!)