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Author Topic: The words of Philip "The Greek"  (Read 1778 times)

Offline Tony and Sandra Smith

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The words of Philip "The Greek"
« on: June 10, 2011, 10:38:57 AM »
Many happy returns on your 90th Birthday.

Here are a few Prince Philip quotes to celebrate the wit of one of our national treasures.

1. China State Visit, 1986

If you stay here much longer, you’ll all be slitty-eyed.

2. To a blind women with a guide

“Do you know they have eating dogs for the anorexic now?”

3. To an Aborigine in Australia

“Do you still throw spears at each other?”

4. To his wife, the Queen, after her coronation

“Where did you get the hat?”

5. When asked if he would like to visit the Soviet Union

“The bastards murdered half my family”

6. To a Briton in Budapest

“You can’t have been here that long – you haven’t got a pot belly.”

7. To a driving instructor in Scotland

“How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to get them through the test?”

8. After the Dunblane shooting

“If a cricketer, for instance, suddenly decided to go into a school and batter a lot of people to death with a cricket bat, which he could do very easily, I mean, are you going to ban cricket bats?”

9. To a student who had been trekking in Papua New Guinea

“You managed not to get eaten, then?”

10. To Elton John after hearing Elton had sold his Gold Aston Martin

“Oh, it’s you that owns that ghastly car – we often see it when driving to Windsor Castle.”

Philip

11. On the London Traffic Debate

“The problem with London is the tourists. They cause the congestion. If we could just stop tourism, we could stop the congestion.”

12. To the President of Nigeria, dressed in traditional robes

“You look like you’re ready for bed!”

13. Unknown

“If you see a man opening a car door for a woman, it means one of two things: it’s either a new woman or a new car!”

14. On key problems facing Brazil

“Brazilians live there”

15. To the matron of a hospital in the Caribbean

“You have mosquitoes. I have the Press”
« Last Edit: June 10, 2011, 10:39:56 AM by Tony and Sandra Smith »
Tony


With thanks to Ueuecoyotl, the Aztec God of Sex and Irresponsible Merrymaking (I've found my deity!!)

Offline Tony and Sandra Smith

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The words of Philip "The Greek"
« Reply #1 on: June 10, 2011, 10:48:50 AM »
16  "If it has four legs and it is not a chair, if it has got two wings and it flies but is not an aeroplane and if it swims and it is not a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it." Said to a World Wildlife Fund meeting in 1986.

17  "There's a lot of your family in tonight." After glancing at business chief Atul Patel's name badge during a 2009 Buckingham Palace reception for 400 influential British Indians to meet the Royal couple.

18  "Aren't most of you descended from pirates?" In the Cayman Islands, 1994

19  "And what exotic part of the world do you come from?" Asked in 1999 of Tory politician Lord Taylor of Warwick, whose parents are Jamaican. He replied: "Birmingham."

20  "Ah, so this is feminist corner then." Joining a group of female Labour MPs, who were wearing name badges reading "Ms", at a Buckingham Palace drinks party in 2000.

21  "Well, you'll never fly in it, you're too fat to be an astronaut."
- to a 13-year-old whilst visiting a space shuttle.
Tony


With thanks to Ueuecoyotl, the Aztec God of Sex and Irresponsible Merrymaking (I've found my deity!!)

Offline Barny

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The words of Philip "The Greek"
« Reply #2 on: June 10, 2011, 01:25:44 PM »
brilliant!! better than the night club chat up line, 'you don't sweat much for a fat bird' !

    Barny
« Last Edit: June 10, 2011, 01:26:35 PM by Barny »
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Offline Tony and Sandra Smith

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The words of Philip "The Greek"
« Reply #3 on: June 10, 2011, 01:57:26 PM »
Quote from: Barny
brilliant!! better than the night club chat up line, 'you don't sweat much for a fat bird' !

    Barny


A fat girl served me food in McDonald's at lunch time. She said 'sorry about the wait.' I said 'don't worry fatty, you're bound to lose it eventually'  
Tony


With thanks to Ueuecoyotl, the Aztec God of Sex and Irresponsible Merrymaking (I've found my deity!!)