Author Topic: how the internet began.  (Read 3230 times)

Offline Barny

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how the internet began.
« on: December 15, 2011, 03:49:20 PM »


How the Internet Began

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and
long of leg. Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com.

And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why dost thou travel so far from town to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?"

And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, dear?" And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale, and they will reply telling you who hath the best price. And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony
Stable (UPS)."

Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. And the drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever having to move from his tent. To prevent neighbouring countries from overhearing what the drums were saying, Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers
knew. It was known as Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed a language to transmit ideas and pictures - Hebrew To The People (HTTP).

And the young men did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS. And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to that enterprising drum dealer, Brother William of Gates, who bought off every drum maker in the land. And indeed did insist on drums to be made that would work only
with Brother Gates' drumheads and drumsticks.

And Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others." And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel , or eBay as it came to be known. He said, "We need a
name that reflects what we are." And Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators."
"YAHOO," said Abraham. And because it was Dot's idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com.

Abraham's cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid (GEEK) that he was, soon started using Dot's drums to locate things around the countryside. It soon became
known as God's Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE).

That is how it all began.
Fancy a Mythos?

Offline John R

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Re: how the internet began.
« Reply #1 on: December 16, 2011, 04:24:54 PM »
Very good - but if you want the truth and to give me an opportunity to name drop then it was actually begun by Sir Tim Berners-Lee who happens to be my wife's half cousin.

Offline Ploppy

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Re: how the internet began.
« Reply #2 on: December 16, 2011, 04:47:58 PM »
Very good - but if you want the truth and to give me an opportunity to name drop then it was actually begun by Sir Tim Berners-Lee who happens to be my wife's half cousin.

Geek alert :-)

Depends how you define the Internet.

Tim certainly worked in the late 80s on getting http out there but I was using the likes of Usenet, FTP, Gopher and Veronica on the internet before pretty Web pages became all the rage and defined what we all now take for granted (like this forum).


Offline John R

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Re: how the internet began.
« Reply #3 on: December 16, 2011, 10:20:20 PM »
Yes - I do agree - Tim made it easily available to the rest of the world rather than only to exclusively clever people like yourself.

Offline Tony and Sandra Smith

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Re: how the internet began.
« Reply #4 on: December 19, 2011, 10:35:09 AM »
How is it that Tim "only" has a knighthood. Surely he should get a greater honour than that!
Tony


With thanks to Ueuecoyotl, the Aztec God of Sex and Irresponsible Merrymaking (I've found my deity!!)

Offline Ploppy

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Re: how the internet began.
« Reply #5 on: December 19, 2011, 12:32:02 PM »
Yes i'm sure the Elders of the Internet should bestow upon him a suitable title.
(The video's owner prevents external embedding)

Offline John R

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Re: how the internet began.
« Reply #6 on: December 19, 2011, 04:39:34 PM »
He has considerably more than a knighthood. Freedom of London,  a member of a very select circle of the Queen's friends (Can't remember the official name) chosen by the Queen personally. He was responsible for the Queen's website. Many many other honours have been bestowed on him. Interestingly he has not made any significant fortune from his activities - not that I would describe him as poor. He made a conscious decision to allow free www access and to everything else he did as he felt it was an essential  gift to the world. It is reckoned that had he gone commercial with self interest then he would now be much richer that Bill Gates. He is a truly decent guy (says us as family !!!!) about whom the press have always had zero criticism. Interestingly the true genius in the family is his Father - Conway Berners Lee who is a brilliant mathematician who worked on the 1st analogue computer in Manchester - as did his Mother - Mary Lee - who became Mary Lee Berners Lee !! Conway also has the freedom of London bestowed on him, and he was heavily involved in the invention of the first means of electronic transfer of cash which is almost as useful to the world as the Internet. I know his Mother and Father well but have yet to meet Tim. Hopefully may happen sometime when he makes one of his fairly frequent visits to the Lake district to which he was introduced as a boy by my Father in Law - a close relative - who was  Youth Hostel (YHA) warden.